My Love/Hate Relationship With Full-time Daycare

Well there was once a time when I said "the time has finally come," and we put Carson in part-time daycare. And now we are ready to move into full-time daycare. I'm having so many mixed emotions about this, it's tearing me up inside. But in the end Carson needs the attention and engagement that I can't give him anymore at home while working. Again I think it stems back to me having a job at my house so it seems weird to send him off somewhere while I'm just "sitting at home." But that's not my only reasoning. From the beginning I've never been a baby person, not even a little kid person. So I am feeling guilty that I somewhat enjoy time to myself and having someone else "manage" him for me. But I find myself more tolerant of him in the mornings, evenings and weekends and have feelings of excitement to go pick him up or get him up in the mornings when I'm not dealing with a toddler all day long. Does that make me a bad person/mom? It's an emotional struggle for me honestly. Carson is very independent and is not really a mommy's or daddy's buddy yet (I'm hoping this changes). He doesn't understand when I need 5 minutes to submit something for work, instead he starts to cry while shoving a book at me or when I won't listen to him when he gestures for me to sit on the floor and play. That breaks my heart too! I also know that I'm only going to get more uncomfortable the closer to my due date I get. For example last week I had to take off work early because I was so nauseous. It never subsided and Reid had to go pick up Carson even from daycare. It was nice having the time to myself to try and rest and make myself better. But then I think on the opposite end of the spectrum in that these are the years we have with them before they are bound to school schedules, extra curricular activities, friends, etc. Maybe things will change in a year or so when he can sit down and do a puzzle or color without throwing the pieces all over the ground because I'm not right next to him the whole time, or maybe he'll tell me "Mommy I like going to school to play with my friends," who knows! But baby 2 will be here before we know it and then I'll have a new buddy around. I just hope Carson doesn't "resent" me in someway for sending him off while his brother gets to hang out with mommy :( All I know is right now Carson wants to be a kid and I think he gets to do that more at daycare and not stuck in the house until I can take him outside for my hour lunch break. It's also nice to be able to get in a workout and/or pick up the house a bit while he's not around. And then my heart is instantly filled with love when I go pick him up and he instantly drops whatever he is doing to run to my arms!